When I began this countdown to the Big Baby Gender Reveal it unexpectedly started something, and actually got me thinking about some of the questions I/we have about becoming fathers. Questions we ask ourselves, or questions people will ask us during the pregnancy, and even after our baby is born. And in the end I was surprised how many QUESTIONS popped in to my head instantaneously.
Some were making me a bit nervous...Others were just plain funny (like would I subject a girl to the Diana Ross Supremes photo shoot, afro wig and all, like Cam did on "Modern Family"???). In a way, this little time-passing exercise I put upon myself leading up to Christmas Day is allowing us to explore what makes us truly giddy and over-the-moon about having a child, but also what we are most apprehensive about or what we may have some struggles with. Ahhhhh, the irony!
Today's question has been asked many times since we got pregnant and even during the process of trying to get pregnant. I understand it's done in the most innocent and inquisitive way possible, but every time it's posed, I do the squirmy dance inside:
"So, whose sperm did you use?"
Again, I know it's an innocent question, but in the end, does it really matter??? Ultimately we will both be fathers of this child (for eternity, I might add), but for some reason this is one of the first questions people ask when they find out we're having a baby. Our somewhat standard answer is that we both tried, and this time it just happened to work with one of us. But other times we actually DO say, "does it really matter???"
DOES IT??
Oh just answer with a question. Did you put out for your husband on the first date? What was your gross income in 2010? Who's uh top dog in your fam? All equally inappropriate but hey I'm curious too, right???
ReplyDeleteNot dealt with this yet but I'm still thinking about it.
Would appreciate hearing how you guys deal.
K
Hell No! Excuse my potty mouth! Not only does it not matter, but it's none of their business! I think you need to come up with a smart ass answer for when that question gets asked. Here are some ideas:
ReplyDeleteQ: "Whose sperm did you use?"
A: "Sperm wasn't necessary."
Q: "Whose sperm did you use?"
A: "Bill Gates'. We have high hopes for this child."
Q: "Whose sperm did you use?"
A: "Yours."
Lol! I just read Kevin's ideas! I like his responses better! :) Disregard my comment!
ReplyDeleteI love Jeni's answers.
ReplyDeleteadults say the darndest things... lol... we get ask every time we tell someone who's sperm did you use... I understand curiosity like how did you do it, but really they ask alot and it is an awkward question... I usually just say we are not sharing that info...
ReplyDeleteit's amazing to me how people that you may or may not know well can ask the most wildly intimate questions when they know you're expecting! how is it that pregnancy suddenly makes them lose all sense of tact and respect?! i've had ppl ask if we used my eggs or my partners - same story. it just amazes me ...
ReplyDeleteYep. We pretty much tell people (well, okay, the few who already know we're pregnant) that it's none of their business or that we don't know... they mixed it all up in the turkey baster.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE JENI'S ANSWERS!! Tony and I run into that a lot too. It can get old very very fast. What we have come up with is to say that we totally understand the curiosity, but that we have decided not to answer that question because she was conceived in both of our hearts, and the question of biology is irrelevant. It works pretty well, I have only had ONE person give us any push back and she was... well let's just stop there. LOL
ReplyDeleteI love the Bill Gates one! Some people do ask the most amazing questions or make the stupidest of statement. My favourite ones (3 x Surrogate babies born in India)....
ReplyDeleteQ. Are they (twins) natural? Yes they feel the same as our other children OR
Q. Will they be black? (after we answered the question that the sperm and eggs were ours - learnt not to discuss this!)
A Does it matter - NO - but if you knew biology you would know the answer already. Some wanted to look in the pram to check.
For our children, we used sperm from four different men. And none of them were from Fred and me. But still, they are our children.
ReplyDeletem.
We used an Indian egg donor and I am very pale skinned, blonde, etc. The other day I go to the store and my daughter is babling happy stuff to the new check-out lady. She asks if she is my daughter. I'm bagging my groceries, busy,and say "yes". She then aska me if the father is dark-skinned (in Spanish, moreno). Uh? What? I just ignored her. How do people ask questions like this?! No you don't have to answer. I don't!
ReplyDelete