Light at the end of the tunnel

Finally a sign that our next attempt is in clear sight. It's been over 4 weeks since the miscarriage and over two months since our surrogate's last period, so we are definitely ready for our third attempt...December 15th our next round of inseminations begin (oh joy). Apparently our surrogate dreamed about this monster of a period coming and there it was the next day...(I think she actually called it a tsunami-like period but maybe that's too much sharing for this blog). And hey, is it truth or just myth that says women can be more fertile after a miscarriage? I'm staying positive and saying "YES"...

I'll tell ya, once we are fathers I'll be so glad to NOT worry about tracking "Aunt Flo" or the other multitude of nicknames a woman's period has (props to you girls!). We'll be done with that part...and many of you have said that once the little miracle DOES arrive, all the work that led up to it, the worrying, the tracking, the flying to India, the fertility drugs, the money, the search for another surrogate and egg donor, the inseminations...and on and on, really does become the distant past. And the most important thing is that you have this new life and light in your life. We are just SO READY, and had no idea what it would take to get there. But here we are, still marching forward. I have to say there are times that I look at our blog friends who have had their child(ren), some who I started following after our failed attempts in India, and can't help but scratch my hairless head and wonder why Bill and I are still at ground zero. I know this will happen, it's just crazy how much something like this can test you, your relationship, and your faith in something that really is out of your control (and body, for that matter). And as I said in August 2009 regarding my worries of failing in India (which seems like a lifetime ago), we just have to trust the universe.

I hope this finds everyone enjoying the Christmas spirit, their new arrivals and preparing for the merriest time of the year. More news from the flight deck soon...

D & B

It's taken a week to write this...

I've thought about it and every time I have to write a negative post it's usually short and sweet. So here it is...this time we most likely had a chemical pregnancy and we lost it last week Thursday. It's taken a while to write this because the day after it happened Bill and I had to go to Florida for his new job. Needless to say traveling to "the happiest place on earth" aka Orlando was a bit strange after we found out but what can we do? We will be trying again after our surrogate gets her next period so that's a positive. At least we got pregnant and know it's possible. That gives us comfort. It'll be nice to get back on Sunday and see our pup Chloe and just be in our own home. More to come...

Pregnant

I feel like we've been waiting so long to post this result, and we know it's early, but we are pregnant! This Sunday it will be about five weeks along...so every day is super important and makes this all more viable. We are extremely thankful to our willing surrogate, and for the speed at which this has happened, after only TWO tries. I still am scratching my head a bit and can't believe we are at this point...when it was just a little over a month ago that we were trying to figure it all out.

All I can say is that this at-home turkey baster method worked and for now we are heading down the road we've wished to be on for some time now. I know it's going to be a whole new set of worries -- getting through the first trimester (something to really look forward to around Christmas time!), and then the next six months after, and the delivery, the emotions, it's all going to be something we'll never forget and something to (hopefully) ponder in coming entries. For now, though, we can say it, we're PREGNANT!!!...and loving every minute of it so far. Really hoping this all sticks.

Thanks to all for their support and encouragement. This blog experience has been so helpful. :-) THANK YOU THANK YOU...

1 day late

well "we" are one day late and that's a good sign, we think...especially since she's usually, as she said herself, "like clockwork." So we'll probably test some time this week, if her period hasn't arrived.

Or maybe we'll just test today!! ;-)

Our surrogate mentioned that she was getting a little anxious and used one of the digital tests a few days ago and she actually peed too much on the stick and it said "ERROR", and when she looked up "error" in the pamphlet it said "call this 800 number"...we all laughed because I'm not sure a customer service person 2500 miles away is going to know if she was pregnant or not. Unless it was the Fortune Teller brand of early pregnancy tests. Deep breath. More news to come...in time.

somebody got their period...

Well we were hopeful with some of the unique symptoms and maybe we had a chemical pregnancy, but we just found out that someone got their period this evening. Something we didn't mention, and may have had played a role in this failed attempt, is that our surrogate stopped taking the pill at the end of July/early August. I've heard it takes about three months to get everything out of your system so we'll keep trying...just two more weeks and we'll do another round of inseminations. It's something to look forward to!

Thanks for your support, all...we'll post more soon.

...add to the symptoms...

ok...so she's now noticing a pinching sensation in her left side...

I seem to have read somewhere as I combed the internet the other night that this is potentially another sign of an early pregnancy.

Hopefully on Sunday I can say, "somebody pinch ME"!

Writing all these crazy thoughts down has been so therapeutic. Regardless of it sounding crazy and all...

Early Pregnancy Symptoms?

I know this is all premature but of course I HAD to inquire how our surro was doing as we inch towards the HPT this Sunday (14 dpo). She mentioned three things: she's hungry, she's irritable, and she's had an increased amount of whitish discharge. I understand this is way too much information for many out here but I immediately had to look it up. Who knows I would take such pleasure in these types of things??? After an hour of researching, and wondering, and speculating,...it all could mean good news...but it also could be a million other things. Damn you Dr. Google!

I need one of those remotes that Adam Sandler had in that movie Click...FAST FORWARD please?!

Yes, it's been a while...

I know, I know, it's been a long time since we've posted. And no, we aren't pregnant (yet) and just laying low...I only wish that was the case!

We ARE, though, waiting until the end of the month to see if we have a positive or not. It's been a huge rollercoaster ride the past months but we actually survived the search for a surrogate.  After a few different "almost matches" we found someone we are happy with. After the two failed attempts last year and all the waiting to get to where we are now, we feel really good about everything. It's funny, I am one of the most impatient people and throughout this process I have learned to be patient. In fact, I am not even preoccupied (yet) about the result or thinking about it before I go to bed or when I wake up in the morning. I know with confidence this will happen in time, hopefully sooner than later, but in time. And it really does seem we've found someone who is committed and ready to go at it with the same vigor and enthusiasm we've had for some time now.

In a nutshell, we are doing traditional surrogacy, as opposed to gestational surrogacy which involves IVF. What this means is our surrogate is our egg donor, and just last week we performed three inseminations during her estimated ovulation period. It was an interesting experience...to say the least. I understand it's tough to pinpoint the day of ovulation, but we spread out the insems so we could have the best chance for conception. We completely understand that traditional versus gestational has its risks, but after the negatives in India, all the traveling and coordinating a half a world away, and then the costs associated with IVF in the U.S., we felt this was the least risky way financially to fulfill our dream of being fathers. Our confidence was definitely boosted when a gay couple we've known for a while successfully had their daughter through TS. It can go well, and it can go not-so-well. We've put several safety nets in to place to reduce our risk, but like I said, we have a very good sense this will work out for everyone, including our surrogate/genetically-linked mother. She's been so wonderful to work with and that has made a huge difference in our comfort level.

So stay tuned, once again, almost a year later after our adventures in India...we'll have some news soon. And negative or positive or whatever it may be, we'll be forging ahead without much delay now...God knows we aren't getting any younger! Someone get me a walker...

D and B

P.S. Congrats to everyone out there who we've been following...those who have had babies and those who are waiting...and I wish all those waiting for your day lots of patience. It will happen. Don't give up.

Details, details...

I thought I would write a short post just to give people a better idea of what we are doing. As I said earlier, we are using a surro in the U.S. who was introduced to us a couple months ago by mutual friends and we actually flew out to the east coast to meet her last month. Our previous "meeting of the surrogate" when we were in India was awkward, done in the hallway at the fertility clinic, and well, there wasn't much to be said for the exchange (as she did not speak English nor did we speak Hindi), so it was what it was. We were thankful and tried to show it as best as we could. This time, though, it was ideal, as we all had dinner together at our mutual friends' home and had a chance to really talk and get to know each other. So we were very grateful to have that time with her in much less stressful surroundings. We returned home knowing we wanted to pursue this and so we started the proverbial ball rolling...

So while the goal has never changed (goal = healthy baby), there ARE a few different players and we are just as excited as ever to get started. Most likely we'll start cycling in the next couple months or so but still waiting on a few details. Once things are confirmed and we are 100% sure on everything we'll share more. I guess we're just being a little cautious since this is all such a crazy ride -- we learned after our first two attempts that nothing is guaranteed but if you just keep your "eyes on the prize" (as the two Mike's told me a year ago), it'll happen. There is so much we've learned in the past year it's amazing. Whether it's surrogacy overseas or in the U.S. or anywhere else, what's crystal clear is that the shared journey of "looking for a baby" is the same. Sometimes it works immediately and sometimes it takes some time to get it right. Thanks everyone for all the support, for opening up your lives and sharing so others could learn, for being pioneers, and being courageous. :-)

Our next attempt...

Aloha Everyone...nothing super definitive just yet but the last few days some things have come together for our next attempt. We are lining up some final details on the contract and talking to a fertility clinic, running tests and shipping sperm (again). Doing all of this in the U.S. is a bit different and I'd have to say there are positive and negatives, but we feel we have a good bunch of "players" for the stage, as Edward said in his blog recently... the only thing is I don't want it to go on for seven ages (!) :-)...

More to come but our 99.9% sure surro is amazing, funny, smart, tested and understands the idea of an alternative family -- she's also pretty fertile and loves doing research on how to get pregnant...we love her...

I'll keep sending out updates but just wanted to get something out to those who are following...

Have we lost you yet???????

Gird your loins because this is happening...again!

Hugs to all,

Doug and Bill