Thursday, September 16, 2010

Yes, it's been a while...

I know, I know, it's been a long time since we've posted. And no, we aren't pregnant (yet) and just laying low...I only wish that was the case!

We ARE, though, waiting until the end of the month to see if we have a positive or not. It's been a huge rollercoaster ride the past months but we actually survived the search for a surrogate.  After a few different "almost matches" we found someone we are happy with. After the two failed attempts last year and all the waiting to get to where we are now, we feel really good about everything. It's funny, I am one of the most impatient people and throughout this process I have learned to be patient. In fact, I am not even preoccupied (yet) about the result or thinking about it before I go to bed or when I wake up in the morning. I know with confidence this will happen in time, hopefully sooner than later, but in time. And it really does seem we've found someone who is committed and ready to go at it with the same vigor and enthusiasm we've had for some time now.

In a nutshell, we are doing traditional surrogacy, as opposed to gestational surrogacy which involves IVF. What this means is our surrogate is our egg donor, and just last week we performed three inseminations during her estimated ovulation period. It was an interesting say the least. I understand it's tough to pinpoint the day of ovulation, but we spread out the insems so we could have the best chance for conception. We completely understand that traditional versus gestational has its risks, but after the negatives in India, all the traveling and coordinating a half a world away, and then the costs associated with IVF in the U.S., we felt this was the least risky way financially to fulfill our dream of being fathers. Our confidence was definitely boosted when a gay couple we've known for a while successfully had their daughter through TS. It can go well, and it can go not-so-well. We've put several safety nets in to place to reduce our risk, but like I said, we have a very good sense this will work out for everyone, including our surrogate/genetically-linked mother. She's been so wonderful to work with and that has made a huge difference in our comfort level.

So stay tuned, once again, almost a year later after our adventures in India...we'll have some news soon. And negative or positive or whatever it may be, we'll be forging ahead without much delay now...God knows we aren't getting any younger! Someone get me a walker...

D and B

P.S. Congrats to everyone out there who we've been following...those who have had babies and those who are waiting...and I wish all those waiting for your day lots of patience. It will happen. Don't give up.


  1. Best wishes guys. We'll be watching for good news very soon!!!

  2. I've been planning to email you and ask how everything is going. Thanks for the update. You are always so supportive of everyone else. I'm really glad to read that everything is moving forward. There are risks with whatever path we take and there is no reason that traditional surrogacy isn't the best path for you at this time. Wishing you tons of baby dust and looking forward to reading positive results!

  3. Doug and Bill,
    I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck, and will be keeping my fingers crossed that you get your positive - and then 9 months of a smooth journey. There are risks in everything, and the only guarantee is that if you do nothing you will get nothing. We have "twin" boys who were carried by a Gestational Surrogate. They came from two different donor embryo families, and are not related to us (or each other, for that matter). The potential for issues was quite high, and honestly we did run into some legal problems. BUT - the surro was/is wonderful and it's been an amazing journey. The vast majority of surros that I've met - both GS and TS - are in it for the right reasons. It sounds like yours is, too.

    Good luck, good luck, good luck!!!!


  4. Edward: thanks for the wishes. You guys must be so excited to meet you babies!! what a full house you will have in no time...

    Amber: I really can't tell you how happy I am for you and Brian. It really lifted my spirits to see you guys are going to be parents after everything. Such an amazing story and so inspiring. Thanks for sharing it.

    Lori: I was so happy you posted a comment. TS is a bit of a new journey for us, and took us a while to get to...but with the right person (our surro) it just felt so natural. Isn't it amazing what surrogacy gives us? -- so many options. It's comforting. And thanks for the good wishes!

  5. Every Journey is Different.....

    Wishing you well sprinkled with lots of BABY DUST!

  6. ...yes! and often the path we initially take gets re-routed. so glad to have OPTIONS! Travel safe!

  7. So glad that you guys are still on the journey, even if it's a slightly different one - but the destination is still the same. Really looking forward to hearing about your upcoming pregnancy and all of the changes to your lives.


  8. Thanks Lisa...we're excited and thanks for the positive message. :-)