somebody got their period...

Well we were hopeful with some of the unique symptoms and maybe we had a chemical pregnancy, but we just found out that someone got their period this evening. Something we didn't mention, and may have had played a role in this failed attempt, is that our surrogate stopped taking the pill at the end of July/early August. I've heard it takes about three months to get everything out of your system so we'll keep trying...just two more weeks and we'll do another round of inseminations. It's something to look forward to!

Thanks for your support, all...we'll post more soon.

...add to the symptoms...

ok...so she's now noticing a pinching sensation in her left side...

I seem to have read somewhere as I combed the internet the other night that this is potentially another sign of an early pregnancy.

Hopefully on Sunday I can say, "somebody pinch ME"!

Writing all these crazy thoughts down has been so therapeutic. Regardless of it sounding crazy and all...

Early Pregnancy Symptoms?

I know this is all premature but of course I HAD to inquire how our surro was doing as we inch towards the HPT this Sunday (14 dpo). She mentioned three things: she's hungry, she's irritable, and she's had an increased amount of whitish discharge. I understand this is way too much information for many out here but I immediately had to look it up. Who knows I would take such pleasure in these types of things??? After an hour of researching, and wondering, and speculating,...it all could mean good news...but it also could be a million other things. Damn you Dr. Google!

I need one of those remotes that Adam Sandler had in that movie Click...FAST FORWARD please?!

Yes, it's been a while...

I know, I know, it's been a long time since we've posted. And no, we aren't pregnant (yet) and just laying low...I only wish that was the case!

We ARE, though, waiting until the end of the month to see if we have a positive or not. It's been a huge rollercoaster ride the past months but we actually survived the search for a surrogate.  After a few different "almost matches" we found someone we are happy with. After the two failed attempts last year and all the waiting to get to where we are now, we feel really good about everything. It's funny, I am one of the most impatient people and throughout this process I have learned to be patient. In fact, I am not even preoccupied (yet) about the result or thinking about it before I go to bed or when I wake up in the morning. I know with confidence this will happen in time, hopefully sooner than later, but in time. And it really does seem we've found someone who is committed and ready to go at it with the same vigor and enthusiasm we've had for some time now.

In a nutshell, we are doing traditional surrogacy, as opposed to gestational surrogacy which involves IVF. What this means is our surrogate is our egg donor, and just last week we performed three inseminations during her estimated ovulation period. It was an interesting experience...to say the least. I understand it's tough to pinpoint the day of ovulation, but we spread out the insems so we could have the best chance for conception. We completely understand that traditional versus gestational has its risks, but after the negatives in India, all the traveling and coordinating a half a world away, and then the costs associated with IVF in the U.S., we felt this was the least risky way financially to fulfill our dream of being fathers. Our confidence was definitely boosted when a gay couple we've known for a while successfully had their daughter through TS. It can go well, and it can go not-so-well. We've put several safety nets in to place to reduce our risk, but like I said, we have a very good sense this will work out for everyone, including our surrogate/genetically-linked mother. She's been so wonderful to work with and that has made a huge difference in our comfort level.

So stay tuned, once again, almost a year later after our adventures in India...we'll have some news soon. And negative or positive or whatever it may be, we'll be forging ahead without much delay now...God knows we aren't getting any younger! Someone get me a walker...

D and B

P.S. Congrats to everyone out there who we've been following...those who have had babies and those who are waiting...and I wish all those waiting for your day lots of patience. It will happen. Don't give up.

Details, details...

I thought I would write a short post just to give people a better idea of what we are doing. As I said earlier, we are using a surro in the U.S. who was introduced to us a couple months ago by mutual friends and we actually flew out to the east coast to meet her last month. Our previous "meeting of the surrogate" when we were in India was awkward, done in the hallway at the fertility clinic, and well, there wasn't much to be said for the exchange (as she did not speak English nor did we speak Hindi), so it was what it was. We were thankful and tried to show it as best as we could. This time, though, it was ideal, as we all had dinner together at our mutual friends' home and had a chance to really talk and get to know each other. So we were very grateful to have that time with her in much less stressful surroundings. We returned home knowing we wanted to pursue this and so we started the proverbial ball rolling...

So while the goal has never changed (goal = healthy baby), there ARE a few different players and we are just as excited as ever to get started. Most likely we'll start cycling in the next couple months or so but still waiting on a few details. Once things are confirmed and we are 100% sure on everything we'll share more. I guess we're just being a little cautious since this is all such a crazy ride -- we learned after our first two attempts that nothing is guaranteed but if you just keep your "eyes on the prize" (as the two Mike's told me a year ago), it'll happen. There is so much we've learned in the past year it's amazing. Whether it's surrogacy overseas or in the U.S. or anywhere else, what's crystal clear is that the shared journey of "looking for a baby" is the same. Sometimes it works immediately and sometimes it takes some time to get it right. Thanks everyone for all the support, for opening up your lives and sharing so others could learn, for being pioneers, and being courageous. :-)

Our next attempt...

Aloha Everyone...nothing super definitive just yet but the last few days some things have come together for our next attempt. We are lining up some final details on the contract and talking to a fertility clinic, running tests and shipping sperm (again). Doing all of this in the U.S. is a bit different and I'd have to say there are positive and negatives, but we feel we have a good bunch of "players" for the stage, as Edward said in his blog recently... the only thing is I don't want it to go on for seven ages (!) :-)...

More to come but our 99.9% sure surro is amazing, funny, smart, tested and understands the idea of an alternative family -- she's also pretty fertile and loves doing research on how to get pregnant...we love her...

I'll keep sending out updates but just wanted to get something out to those who are following...

Have we lost you yet???????

Gird your loins because this is happening...again!

Hugs to all,

Doug and Bill

Merry Christmas and Here's to a Year Full of SUCCESS!!!

We haven't posted in several weeks and I just wanted to send a message to everyone out there that come the NEW YEAR, we are back on the baby bandwagon. The last half of 2009 was extremely busy with all kinds of activity, mostly planning our trip to India and pursuing parenthood with everything that we could muster up. Though we did not meet success, this is a journey that we are on for the duration, as I've said before. There are many that are on the road with us, and in that we take comfort. Thank you for your support, your kind words, and your encouragement to keep moving forward. I keep telling Bill that we could have never done the trip to India without all of your assistance.

And, to that baby out there waiting for us -- the dust is starting to settle, oh little one, be patient along with us and our faces will become clearer to each other as time passes. The new year holds so much hope and promise... be well.

Happy Holidays,

Doug and Bill