Spotting...Ugh.

I'm really hoping that this isn't the kind of pregnancy where I'm posting every day for nine months. I woke up early as I have been for the past couple weeks and I had two emails from our surro. She was spotting, not bright red, and no cramping, but she was going to the doctor this morning to see what was up. This happened with her previous pregnancy and she went full term and delivered a beautiful baby girl, so it can be expected. But I want uneventful, people. None of this playing with my emotions stuff. I know this is good prep for parenthood but I think we've done the prep work, send me the baby already. Ok, ok...so she is literally having the ultrasound right now, hopefully in the best cast we'll see a fetal pole and a gestational sac. Think good thoughts for our little one and surro. I'll let you know how it goes.

xx

Getting darker...5 weeks today!!!

Today we got a pretty dark HPT and the line was almost as dark as the control line. Our surro was guessing (very unscientfically, of course) that her HCG was probably close to 1,000. Unfortunately since we are not doing IVF we don't have routine HCG tests, only if things are suspected to be going badly (so I don't want them!). Even the appointment scheduled for two weeks from today is an ultrasound and some bloodwork but no HCG. That's ok...we are so looking forward to seeing the u/s...I know you can't see much but to get a "head count" and just see what's going on in there will be very exciting. Hoping all goes well. Fingers still crossed.

And if you wanted to see the dark test, here is the photo. YIPPPPEEEEE!!!!

My mother

Today would have been my mother's 80th birthday. Since she passed away in January 2001, I don't think a day has passed that I haven't thought about her in some way.

When I visited Florence in the mid 90s I remember taking a photo of this sculpture at the Academia (where Michelangelo's David is) and framing it for my mom. I am not sure what the title of the piece is but it just reminded me of the undying devotion a child has for their mother. I miss her so much. And wish she could see all that is happening in my life. I LOVE YOU MOM.

The HPTs...

OK, so I spared all of you the previous test results because there were times it was like trying to see Jesus in a tortilla with the blue and pink dye tests but these are conclusive, especially the "YES+" result. There's something comforting about seeing that YES and + in the same line because I have a really hard time reading those dye tests (I'm a visual learner....like "spell it out for me please")... Loving that our surro is obsessed with testing and we wake up to a fresh photo of the result. Thank you for being so THOROUGH!

...Sticky sticky sticky!!!

...deep breath...

...we can do this...

I'm finding it hard to believe that I'll make it until Feburary but I think this is the hardest part, waiting for something viable (someone agree with me, please).

Well here they are...


12dpo


14 dpo (tough to see here but it's there I promise...) :-)

I couldn't help it...

One of the balls finally dropped.  The latest update is that we changed surrogates. We feel it was the best route to choose considering the negatives we had been getting after multiple tries with our previous candidate.  And well, here we are again!  Yes, it's EARLY.  But what I can say RIGHT NOW is that we have a positive HPT and our surro will keep testing daily to make sure it's moving in the right direction. Think good thoughts all.

Multiple Balls in the Air

We so so appreciate everyone's heartfelt advice and encouragement. There are so many people out there in so many different stages of this process -- and it's so good to know that we are all not alone as we navigate surrogacy, parenthood, adoption, imagining life with or without a child. For what it's worth we are still moving forward. No giving up here. No quitting. Just a pause in all the noise of this process. Let's just say we have multiple balls in the air and one of them we're hoping to drop...or two. I'll leave y'all with that. Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there.

MOM'S ROCK!!!

xxoo
D and B and C

Period. Yuck.

Once again it's taken days to write this -- April got her period on Sunday. I dunno people. Give me some advice here. This is attempt number five and while we got pregnant on the second try, it's been tough to keep the flame burning with the way we are doing it. And to think we were so pumped just six months ago, thinking that this was the one...and here we are...considering what to do next, with who, and how, when, etc etc.

Maybe I should just stop blogging, get busy, and announce that we have a baby when we ACTUALLY have one...instead of complaining about it on here.

Ok, buh bye...we've got our work cut out for us.

:-)