Thanks All

I just want to say thanks to everyone out there in blogland who have encouraged us along and helped us make the decision to move forward. NO, we don't know each other but I feel like we do. There's something about sharing an experience together and it doesn't matter if you're the best of friends or have never laid eyes on each other. The shared experience is what bonds you.

So I'm just very grateful for the support we have. It really does make us not want to give up. We appreciate you all!

D and B

Low Betas

Well we had super low betas that should have been near 1,000 and they were only 89 and 79, and declining. Our surro was told she had a blighted ovum, which I've read is a very common reason for miscarriage in early pregnancy. We have to wait a little over a month before trying again. Ugh...onward!

Be careful what you wish for...thanks mom!

Our surro just called and the good news is that there is a gestational sac that showed up in the ultrasound, and that sac was implanted in her uterus. No blood in her cervix, so that's good. I'm so glad our embryo knew where to lay down for his/her nine month nap! That's a good start. The doctor said they usually like to see a round sac and this one was not totally round, but that wasn't of too much concern at this point. No fetal pole was spotted but it's still very early at 5 weeks, 1 day.

M called as she was going to get some beta tests, which I mentioned in my last post that we were NOT going to get because we didn't do IVF. My mother always said "be careful what you wish for"...because I had secretly wanted the betas to tell me how things were progressing. I've never been good at waiting -- I was the kid that opened his presents the day before Christmas and then rewrapped them to open the next day. I had to be a real good actor when I was plopped in front of my big family when opening them on Christmas Day. I'm TERRIBLE, and hopefully someone isn't punishing me now for that very childish thing I did 40 years ago. We'll have beta results by the end of the day, and then another test on Friday. As everyone knows, HCG levels in the blood should double every 48 hours so we are hoping for a number around 500 or higher today and then something double that on Friday.

One thing I don't want is a blood pressure test right now. I am sure it's through the roof. Mary said I should have a beer for breakfast.

Be careful what you wish for.

Spotting...Ugh.

I'm really hoping that this isn't the kind of pregnancy where I'm posting every day for nine months. I woke up early as I have been for the past couple weeks and I had two emails from our surro. She was spotting, not bright red, and no cramping, but she was going to the doctor this morning to see what was up. This happened with her previous pregnancy and she went full term and delivered a beautiful baby girl, so it can be expected. But I want uneventful, people. None of this playing with my emotions stuff. I know this is good prep for parenthood but I think we've done the prep work, send me the baby already. Ok, ok...so she is literally having the ultrasound right now, hopefully in the best cast we'll see a fetal pole and a gestational sac. Think good thoughts for our little one and surro. I'll let you know how it goes.

xx

Getting darker...5 weeks today!!!

Today we got a pretty dark HPT and the line was almost as dark as the control line. Our surro was guessing (very unscientfically, of course) that her HCG was probably close to 1,000. Unfortunately since we are not doing IVF we don't have routine HCG tests, only if things are suspected to be going badly (so I don't want them!). Even the appointment scheduled for two weeks from today is an ultrasound and some bloodwork but no HCG. That's ok...we are so looking forward to seeing the u/s...I know you can't see much but to get a "head count" and just see what's going on in there will be very exciting. Hoping all goes well. Fingers still crossed.

And if you wanted to see the dark test, here is the photo. YIPPPPEEEEE!!!!

My mother

Today would have been my mother's 80th birthday. Since she passed away in January 2001, I don't think a day has passed that I haven't thought about her in some way.

When I visited Florence in the mid 90s I remember taking a photo of this sculpture at the Academia (where Michelangelo's David is) and framing it for my mom. I am not sure what the title of the piece is but it just reminded me of the undying devotion a child has for their mother. I miss her so much. And wish she could see all that is happening in my life. I LOVE YOU MOM.